


Being Famous Would be Way Cooler if I Didn't Have To Worry About So Many Scandals

by Helloiamsilver



Series: Adam's a Baby Daddy [4]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Artificial Insemination, Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Other, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-08
Updated: 2011-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-23 13:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloiamsilver/pseuds/Helloiamsilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shit…How does one explain that their sperm has been hijacked by a crazy fan to the rest of the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Famous Would be Way Cooler if I Didn't Have To Worry About So Many Scandals

“No! That is totally the wrong color!” Julie insisted as Adam held up yet another baby outfit. He sighed angrily and tossed it back to the stack  
“Seriously Julie? Well then what the fuck is the right color!?” Adam demanded before quickly lowering his voice. They were surrounded by shopping mothers after all, “Everything I’ve shown you has been the wrong color according to you! Or the wrong size! Or the wrong ‘style’!” He noticed her sly smirk before she quickly turned her head away, “Hey, you’ve been messing with me this whole time haven’t you?” She giggled, “Oh, that’s not cool! You’ve already hijacked my sperm, why must you do more to torment me!?”  
“I don’t know? It’s fun? Besides I have everything you picked out in the basket. I just went back and grabbed it when you weren’t looking,” She winked. Adam was slightly mollified.  
“You even got the pink, sparkly one that said “future superstar” for Orchid?” Adam asked, excited,  
“Yup,”  
“And the one that said “my daddy wears eyeliner” for Eli!?”   
“Uh-huh,” Julie grinned. Adam was practically bouncing up and down. This was one of his non-studio days and he was taking advantage of it to shop for baby clothes. His children would not be seen in boring baby wear! If Julie was telling the truth about actually taking all of his suggestions, then they already had a wardrobe almost as big and chic as his. As they should.  
“Oh. My. God!” Julie shoved the basket into Adam’s arms and waddled as quickly as she could to another display area. “They NEED these!!” She pointed up to a selection of mobiles hanging from the ceiling. One of them was a bunch of shiny music notes, the other was glittery stars. Right below them were matching cribs. Adam smiled indulgently.  
“And look!” She added. You can program them to play any lullaby or song or whatever you want! Oh these babies are SO falling asleep to Broken Open!”  
“No! You’re not programming it with MY song!”  
“Why not? It’d be like their daddy was singing them a lullaby to sleep every night? Is that not incredibly sweet?” Adam thought for a second. Ok, maybe it was a little sweet. “Besides, Broken Open is so pretty and peaceful! It’s gotta be better than Rock-a-by-baby!”  
“True…Why not I guess,” Julie clapped her hands with glee. God, how exactly had Adam become whipped by some insane glambert who had stolen his sperm? An image flashed into his mind of those ultrasound pictures. Those little babies. Oh right, that’s how. A phone call interrupted his thoughts.   
“Hello?”   
“Hey Adam, it’s Lane,”   
“Oh, hey, what’s going on?” Adam tucked his phone up to his ear with his shoulder as he handed Julie another collection of chic baby clothes.  
“Are you home right now?’  
“No, actually I’m shopping for baby stuff with Julie,” Adam winced as Julie shrieked in joy at the sight of sparkly diapers.   
“I can hear that. Actually that’s what we needed to discuss,”  
“What?”  
“The babies,”   
“What exactly do we need to discuss?”  
“Are you going to be open about them or are you planning on keeping this a secret?” Adam stopped in his tracks. He hadn’t thought about that. He should’ve thought about that. Why hadn’t he thought about that!?   
“Um…”  
“You haven’t thought about that have you?”  
“Not exactly…”  
“Well you need to!”   
“Uh, can I think it over and get back to you on that?” He could practically see Lane rolling her eyes at him.  
“Yes, but you need to figure this out soon,” Adam hung up the phone and looked to Julie. Yes, he needed to figure this out soon. His stand-by mantra with the public had always been no big secrets. He would always be completely open with them. Because what if someone found out? What if someone leaked this information on the internet? Things would be a million times worse if he was ‘caught’ than if he just admitted the truth.   
He looked over to Julie. Insane, insane Julie who had never even once considered telling the press this story, despite the inevitable fame. People have sold out celebrity stories a LOT less earth-shattering for a LOT less notoriety. He didn’t want her to be sold out. Adam had plenty of experience of being caught up in the media frenzy and he didn’t wish that on anybody.   
So, the best option would be to not hide anything, same as he did with his sexuality. But, it wasn’t just up to him; he would have to make sure Julie was ok with that too. He had grown genuinely fond of the woman.   
“Hey Julie!” He shouted up to where she had been distracted by baby carriages.  
“Huh, yeah?”   
“How do you feel about telling everybody about you being pregnant with my babies?” Hmm, Adam really needed to work on that blurting thing. Julie barely even looked up.  
“By everybody you mean…?”  
“Everybody. The press, media, all my fans, and your family I guess,”  
“Everybody,” She finally looked away from the carriages to face Adam, “Are YOU ok with that?” Adam took a deep sigh.  
“It’s better not to have secrets,”   
“True…I mean what if I hadn’t told you until like years later and it was this whole big scandal with Maury-style paternity tests and lawsuits and crap? THAT would’ve been a disaster! I mean, by telling you now I was being courteous! I’m letting you make the decisions here dude,” She shrugged.  
“Being courteous would’ve been not stealing my sperm in the first place,” Adam answered, routinely.  
“FINDING. I FOUND your sperm!”  
“Whatever, so YOU really don’t mind if everyone knows?”  
“Not really… it’ll be weird that’s for sure. But hey, then it would be a hell of a lot easier for you to interact with them. I mean, we’ve already had a million paparazzi following us today probably wondering what the hell you’re doing shopping for baby stuff with some random pregnant woman,” That sent a shock through Adam. He immediately flipped around and searched for the cameras. He finally noticed the small hoard of them just outside the door of the store. Great…Really, how oblivious WAS he!? He turned away from them, angrily.  
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,”   
He pulled out his phone to tell Lane what he’d decided. And to talk to Sauli. Yeah, Sauli was important too. Adam smiled as he thought about the cavalier way he’d handled this whole hoopla, after the bitch-slap that is. He turned around when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  
“The question here is…” Julie began, “What the ever-loving FUCK are we going to say happened!?”


End file.
